The Tin Man's Heart
by sidspappy
Summary: 02/03/09 - Story updated. Chapter 2 deals with the aftermath of a late night encounter between Cameron and John. This is a sequel to my previous stories, "The Girl Who Came in From the Cold" and "Two Thoughts."
1. Chapter 1

The Tin Man's Heart

By sidspappy

NOTES: WARNING! Some of this story contains profanity and adult content, but no more than your average "R" rated movie on cable. If you are easily offended by this kind of content, you have been forewarned. This is a sequel to "The Girl Who Came in From the Cold" and "Two Thoughts." It will help if you read those before tackling this, but isn't strictly necessary. Takes place after the S2 episode "Mr. Ferguson is Ill Today," but is a bit Alternate Universe, as this story will almost certainly deviate from how the rest of the season will play out.

UPDATE: (02/03/09) - Chapter 2 added.

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10:35pm

Cameron had just started her nightly security circuit around the Connor residence. She stood at the french doors in the living room, noting that everything seemed normal. After a few minutes of continuous scanning, she turned away and headed into the dining room, sitting down at the dinner table and staring off toward the empty hallway where the bedrooms were located. She focused on the door to John's room, feeling the powerful pull he exerted on her. She knew she shouldn't go, but as time went on, Cameron found it harder and harder to resist. _What do I do?_ She wondered to herself. Terminators were not known for their indecision, so this was a new experience for her.

John Connor was asleep in bed. Crickets chirped loudly in the dark outside of his open window. A long silvery ray of moonlight stretched across the room and fell across the young man's face. In repose, there was no frown, no tightening of his lips. Aside from the insects outside, there was no stirring and no noise in the room. There was only John's steady breathing and the rise and fall of his chest.

He'd had a rough day. He hadn't seen Riley in a while. She called him constantly, asking if she could see him, wondering if he was all right after Mexico. He told her just today that he'd meet her soon and tell her everything she needed to know about him. John felt horrible, knowing the weight that she would have to carry once he laid it all on her. Trying not to dwell on his responsibilities, he finally dropped into bed and immediately fell asleep, not even changing his clothes.

Cameron stood up after finally making her decision. Although it might cause her more problems than she already faced with John, she couldn't deny herself any longer. She silently moved down the hallway and stopped at the entrance to John's room. She listened for sounds coming from the other side of the door. When she heard nothing after about a minute, she gently turned the doorknob and was surprised that it was unlocked. Cameron felt relief that the door opened silently, so as not to disturb John. She did not want to see him while he was conscious.

Normally, Cameron was not allowed in John's room. He valued his privacy, and now that he'd taken to spending an inordinate amount of time with Riley Dawson, Cameron had not stepped foot in this room since the night they agreed it was "lonely to be John Connor." But for some reason she could not fathom, Cameron felt an overwhelming desire to see John. She just wanted to be near him, without receiving his usual looks of disgust, mistrust, and sometimes, outright hatred.

Standing in the doorway, Cameron made a quick assessment. A single low-wattage lamp on the dresser provided soft lighting which barely illuminated the room. John was sprawled upon the bed, which was still covered with the garish children's bedspread that came with the house, even though the sixteen year old John had been using the bed for a couple of months now. Indeed, as Cameron scanned the rest of the room, primary colors in red, blue, and yellow dominated the color scheme. Children's toys - intended for a boy - lay strewn across the carpeted floor. A vaguely mechanical-looking construct made out of Lego pieces stood at one corner of the room. Random playthings lay upon the end table next to John's sleeping form.

Cameron glided across the floor, avoiding the toys like so many deadly mines. She finally stopped near the foot of the bed, on the far end, away from where John was slumbering. He was still fully clothed, one booted leg on the bed, his right leg hanging off the edge.

For a long moment, Cameron stood there immobile, staring at John's unlined and untroubled face. She couldn't help thinking he was so attractive, but only more so when he was sleeping. He had an air of innocence that was absent during his waking hours. The sliver of moonlight coming from the open window bisected his features diagonally, a faint white line giving his face an unearthly quality.

Ever since integrating the personality profile of Allison Young, the ill-fated template from which Cameron was patterned off of, Cameron had been struggling with unfamiliar thoughts, compulsions, and even emotions.

Yes, _emotions._ Cameron was shocked at the overwhelming impact emotions could have over a person. And she gained a new found respect for humanity that they could even function in the midst of experiencing such internal chaos.

She idly mused that Skynet hadn't been able to deal with developing sentience and motivations like self-preservation. And it led to the near destruction of humanity. Emotions are a powerful force, Cameron was beginning to realize, and as such, they should be treated with respect. It was far too easy to let them get out of control if not dealt with properly, she decided.

Mentally shaking herself from her meandering thoughts, she again focused on her sleeping charge. Smiling slightly at the visage before her, she once again asked herself what she would do once she got into John's room. Finally, she found the thing that she really wanted to do was what she'd done all those nights ago when trying to dissuade John from seeing Riley.

She turned around and sat on the edge of the mattress. It sank deeply due to her weight, which was more than a true teenage girl would weigh. Bending down, she undid the buckles of her black leather motorcycle boots, and she slid her slender feet out of them. Staring at her crimson painted toenails for a brief second, she wondered why she continued to perform such unnecessary rituals when no one would see the results. Cameron slowly straightened and turned her head to see if she had disturbed John. He did little more than move a hand across his chest, still in a deep sleep.

With relief, she gently laid down in the space next to John on the bed. On her back now, she lifted her legs and let them settle upon the soft mattress. She gazed up at the ceiling, thinking of nothing in particular except for the young man just inches away from her. The stillness and relative quiet was comforting, and now having John next to her, she experienced another new feeling. As these were unfamiliar, Cameron had a hard time identifying and classifying them, yet she'd done extensive research on all aspects of human behavior. And she was fairly certain that right now she was feeling safe and content. Feelings of security are important to humans. This basic need drove early man to seek shelter in caves and utilize fire. It is a requirement that all humans share, Cameron knew. Yet, for this household and this family, security was a rare commodity indeed.

Turning her head to the right she tried to look at John. She could hear the sounds of her head scratching against her hair on the pillow. She peered at him over a tiny mound of that same chocolate brown hair. She felt like she could lie here forever, never getting off the bed again. It was an illogical desire, yet one that she no longer wanted to deny.

But all good things come to an end, and Cameron's respite came to a close when John began to stir, slowly moving his body around, limbs and senses coming to life. Human stages of awakening were quite unlike a cyborg, Cameron noted. She could be fully operational within 15 seconds of coming out of standby, though she was certain watching John wake up was much more enjoyable than seeing a Terminator come out of power-down mode.

John let out a soft groan and slowly opened his eyes…

"Ah!" He exclaimed, while nearly jumping out of the bed. Finally recognizing Cameron, John laid his head back on the pillow and sighed heavily.

"Cam," John croaked out, for his throat was dry. "What-what the hell are you doing here?" he asked, exasperation barely hidden in his voice.

_It was too good to last,_ Cameron thought to herself. "I am lying in bed – with you," she explained.

John rolled his eyes. "Yes, I can see that," he replied sarcastically. "But why?"

Silence. John turned his head to see why she wouldn't answer, and Cameron's expression shocked him. Her large brown eyes began to well up with…tears? And she was opening and closing her mouth, as if trying to explain but being wholly unable to do so.

Cameron looked away quickly, so John wouldn't see her crying. She'd done this a few times after the Allison integration. It was confusing and also…frustrating? Yes, it was incredibly frustrating, Cameron realized. She had to say something, though. She could sense John's eyes boring into the back of her head.

"I…I don't know why John," she finally managed to whisper out.

John rubbed his hands across his face then stared at the ceiling. Ever since the Allison episode - as John came to refer to it - Cameron appeared to be experiencing bouts of...emotion, for lack of a better description. Although Cameron continued to insist that as a machine, she could not experience emotions, John had seen too many contradictory incidents to accept that statement as truth any longer.

But this turn of events both excited and confused John. What if Cameron really did have emotions? John had convinced himself long ago that it would never be so, and that there was only a thin line of code that separated him from certain death at the hands of this beautiful cyborg. Riley had come at the perfect time, to save John from the dangers of getting too close to a machine that could just as easily kill him as look at him. So in the time since Allison had come around, John decided it was simply too dangerous for him to get attached to Cameron, and he began to push her away, both literally and figuratively.

And it worked - a bit too well - John admitted. He'd managed to alienate his protector, the one person closer to him than anyone else, save his mother. It pained him to see Cameron, living her life day by day, looking lost and alone. Still, John avoided her, shoving the guilt deep down and replacing it with glares and unkind words. He tried to convince himself that she was only a machine, and treating her like crap didn't matter in the long run.

But now, looking at her long, soft, curvy form, her beautiful hair fanned out upon the pillow, John knew in his heart that he'd been wrong – dead wrong. At the moment, he could only look at Cameron with regret and wonder what it would be like to kiss her.

"John?" Cameron said in a small voice. It was both an inquiry and a plea. Although all the pieces weren't in place yet, he wasn't a fool. She was a Terminator, designed for infiltration. Subterfuge. She'd come into his room once before, asking him to stop seeing Riley. At the time, he'd suspected Cameron of misdirection and coercion. Was it the same this time? Was she after something? Somehow, his gut was telling him no.

She had turned to face him, the pleading plain in her eyes. A single tear had welled up and was now making a trail down the side of her face. John was entranced, never seeing a cyborg cry before. Another Terminator long ago told him it was impossible. But when it came to Cameron, it seemed anything was possible.

She really _was_ different and anything _was_ indeed possible, John realized. To his surprise, while all of this was going through his head, Cameron had reached out and placed her tiny hand in his. Her hand was surprisingly cool to the touch, but despite that, there was an undeniable softness to it as she tenderly caressed his own hand, squeezing it gently – the meaning behind the action obvious to anyone with a pulse.

And without further thought, John let go of her hand and rolled on his side, reaching over with his right hand. He gently ran his trembling fingers down the left side of Cameron's face, stopping when he reached the faint blemish alongside her left eyebrow. As he touched it, he could swear that Cameron shuddered. He was again surprised and a bit amused as she closed her eyes. Perhaps it was a subroutine that ran when an inexperienced teenager tries to seduce a Terminator? He shook his head imperceptibly to shake the thought off. John was quickly realizing that thinking of Cameron as a pure mechanical construct was what had always prevented him from reaching this moment in time with her.

This time John decided that he wouldn't allow his prejudice and stupidity to get in the way. He rubbed the beauty mark in slow, sensuous circles. Cameron gasped, and her eyes flew open. He could see that her gaze had become glassy and unfocused. John saw the deep brown pools of her eyes swimming with new and uncharted emotions and desires. He wanted to ask her how this was possible, how he could be with her like this. But as he lost himself in Cameron's rapturous expression, everything he wanted to ask evaporated into thin air.

With a smirk, John whispered, "You like that, huh?" as he continued caressing the side of her face. Cameron's lips were slightly parted, glistening in the faint light. She nodded wordlessly, as if she were incapable of speech. John was now enjoying himself. His whole body tingled with anticipation, his mind running at a million miles per hour. Questions popped into his head: _Are you really gonna do this John? Should you be doing this? Is it wrong?_ John certainly knew his mother would not approve of this, not one bit. And his uncle? Better not to think about that, he decided.

As John wrestled with unromantic thoughts, Cameron began to get a hold of herself. She had never anticipated something like this happening. When she came in, she'd only been longing for companionship and comfort from John as he slept. She hadn't intended for John to embrace her as he was doing now. But when she decided to reach out to him, it was as if she'd unintentionally broken some kind of barrier, and everything inside of John Connor was pouring out over her. When he'd touched her face, she felt as if John had been touching her forever. A kind of warmth flowed throughout her body. She'd never felt anything like this before, and Cameron was totally unprepared for what happened when he touched her left temple.

John had touched some form of nerve nexus in her biological covering. The mole on her left eyebrow, duplicated exactly from Allison's facial structure, was incredibly sensitive. The reason for this was unclear, and Cameron had never noticed before, as she would only powder the area or wash it perfunctorily. The blemish was of little concern to her – until now. When he began to rub the area, numerous electrical impulses raced to her CPU, and the programming there sent duplicate signals to other areas of her body. The feedback she received from those sectors – specifically in the genital areas, was what Cameron could only describe as…pleasurable. This was the reason for the involuntary gasp that escaped her lips.

It was a day of many firsts for Cameron Baum. She hoped it wouldn't be the last.

John had stopped rubbing the side of her brow. This brought Cameron back to the here and now, and she focused on John's face. He wore a slight smile, the normal glare and frown he usually wore around her was nowhere in evidence. His eyes drew her attention. The green in his irises seemed to be burning - emerald flames glittering and dancing just for her.

They gazed at one another for what seemed an eternity. A decision needed to be made. Each wondering if the other would make it, and each wondering if they would make the right one. Finally, John lowered himself down upon Cameron and tenderly touched his lips to hers.

All coherent thought left John at that moment, but one thing stood out for him, something he knew he'd take to his grave as a treasured memory; she tasted faintly of strawberries. Her lips were softer than anything he'd ever kissed before, and he found it difficult to reconcile that this was a machine he was in a passionate embrace with. _A rose by any other name smells just as sweet,_ as he remembered the saying went. Truer words were never spoken, as far as John was concerned. His arms wrapped around Cameron's shoulders, he wove his hands through her luxuriant hair.

He kissed her with a passion he'd long forgotten - his pathetic attempts with Riley were embarrassing in comparison. Frankly, the last time he'd had a kiss that even came close was in Mike Kripski's basement years ago. John fleetingly wondered whatever happened to Kate Brewster.

In response, Cameron wrapped her own arms around John's waist, pulling him closer. She was trying to be as gentle with him as possible. In her ecstasy, she feared that she would hurt John somehow. She found it hard to control her body, and knew it would be very easy for something to go wrong.

Behind closed eyes, Cameron's displays were scrolling literally hundreds of lines – data being gathered from innumerable sensors. In the bottom right corner, a red light began to flash WARNING! SENSORY OVERLOAD IMMINENT! Cameron ignored it and concentrated on just…feeling. Being in the moment with John was the only place she wanted to be, and if she crashed, then so be it. She could sense his body lying upon hers; the exquisite weight of him bearing down on her was simply beyond anything she'd imagined it would be. She ran her fingers along his back, and could make out his sinewy muscles flexing, their heat warming her palms. She snaked her fingers under his T-shirt, in order to touch him – the real him beneath the clothing.

John gasped and pulled away. Cameron froze. She immediately feared that she'd done something wrong. Before she could utter a word though, John grinned and quickly gave her a peck on cheek.

"Sorry, it's just that your hands are a little cold," he explained. Unbidden, Cameron's CPU launched a subroutine, clustering blood into her cheeks. "Oh," was all she could think of to say. Then, a line stopped and flashed in her display.

"You know what they say, don't you?" Cameron murmured coquettishly. When John only raised his eyebrows at her, she answered. "They say 'cold hands, warm heart'." She smiled for him. John could not help but return it. "Well if they say it, then it's gotta be true, right?" he replied. John rolled to his side and took her hands in his. "Hey, you're not touching me until your hands are as warm as that heart of yours, okay?" he joked. He massaged her dainty hands tenderly until what passed for her circulatory system compensated with increased blood flow. With a final kiss on the inside of each palm, John looked at Cameron again.

"How's that?" he asked throatily. Cameron gave him a wide smile and replied, "much better, thank you." Her hands were indeed warmer - normal for a human, in any case. John lowered his head to kiss her again. But Cameron suddenly had a thought. She placed her hand on John's face to stop him. She had to tell John something before she could go on.

"John," she began. "I want you to know this isn't why I came to you tonight." John misunderstood and his eyes clouded over, bright green fading quickly to a dull jade. Cameron was quick to recover. "No, you don't understand. This is what I want, more than you'll ever know. I just wanted to explain to you that when I came here, I only wanted to be close to you. I didn't expect...this," she explained.

John's face brightened, realizing what she was getting at, and he let out a breath of relief. "This isn't what I expected either, you know," he chided her. "I wake up to find a…" he stopped. When Cameron frowned slightly, he went on. "I get up and find a beautiful girl lying next to me. I wonder how a guy can be so stupid and so lucky at the same time."

They looked at each other for a few moments, both knowing what John was talking about. So Cameron asked the question she'd been avoiding, the one she knew she had to address before doing anything else. It was only a one-word question:

"Riley," she said.

Cameron held John's face in her hands, looking at him, hoping beyond hope that she would hear the answer she was seeking. John sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "Now that you're here, Riley seems very far away," he said. Shame and regret welled up inside him. "I'm not gonna lie to you, Cam," he went on. "I care about Riley very much, and…and I even thought I'd be able to fall in love with her, but after everything that happened, you know, with Cromartie, I don't think it's fair to her."

John shook his head slowly. "She doesn't deserve to be put in danger like this," he told Cameron. "Not for all the wrong reasons."

"And what reasons are those?" she asked.

John sighed again. He would finally be able to admit what he couldn't before. "I was with Riley just so I could avoid my feelings for you, Cam."

Cameron ran the audio recording in her head back again. Did she hear him correctly? Yes, she did. "Feelings?" she asked hopefully. He grinned at her. "Yeah, feelings." Then John's face turned serious. "Cameron," John said softly.

"Yes?" If she didn't know any better, she could swear that the pump that ran her circulatory system began to run faster.

"I love you."

It was such a simple declaration, but one that changed many things. Rules were now broken, alliances were forever changed. Cameron could never go back to what she once was: a Terminator. Because she was loved, from this time forth, she would see herself as Cameron Baum – a woman who just happened to be a machine.

Cameron noticed John looking at her strangely, and she belatedly realized that he was looking for a similar answer from her. Panic quickly began to set in. The response list on her display scrolled by at an alarming rate before stopping abruptly. Highlighted was the response she wanted to give him, yet she overrode it, unable to utter the words.

"John, I…I," was all that came out. The tears were now flowing freely down the sides of her temples and pooling in the curves of her ears. She shook her head back and forth several times, trying to say something - anything to reassure him, but nothing came out. She just didn't know for sure. Was she in love with him? If Cameron could define love as John Connor being the center of her universe, the entire reason for her existence, the subject of nearly every thought she had, then yes, she was certainly in love with John.

But wasn't that what a Terminator was programmed to do as well? Wasn't that what John in the future programmed her to do? Was it really her, or just subroutines that predestined her to say things and do things that other people wanted?

Seeing her confusion and distress, John fought the urge to get angry with Cameron. How could she not love him as well? But as he saw her battling with inner programming demons he couldn't even begin to imagine, John tried to see it from her point of view.

He was smart enough to know that part of the reason why Cameron was lying under him on his bed was due to the Allison episode. The integration of another personality had to have been the catalyst for her new found abilities. But being able to feel and being able to understand those emotions were two different things. On an emotional developmental scale, John knew that Cameron was a child.

Was she in love with him? Maybe. But it wouldn't be fair of him not to give Cameron the chance to grow and figure it out for herself. So before she could get worked up about it. John cupped his hands around Cameron's face, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "Shh," he tried to soothe her. Placing a tender kiss on the lips, he pulled away and smiled at her. "Don't worry. I understand."

Cameron's eyes grew wide. "You do?" she asked. John nodded. "You don't really know what love is, or whether you feel it at all," he reassured her. This brought a relieved smile to Cameron's face, and John couldn't help but smile back.

"I'm so sorry, John," she apologized. "I want to tell you that I love you, but…I'm confused. Is it my programming, or do I really have these feelings for you?"

"Well," John replied, "I guess it's something we'll have to figure out – together, all right?"

"Yes, John. We'll do it together," she said. And with that, he leaned in for another kiss. After a few moments, it deepened and became more urgent. Flames of desire began licking at John, and he could feel himself growing. If he didn't stop himself…

"No," Cameron told him as he tried to pull away. "Don't stop," she pleaded. He found it hard to resist when she pulled him back into her embrace. John moved from her lips and began kissing her neck, breathing her in deeply. She smelled wonderful - like a mix of spices he couldn't quite put his finger on, but he thought he could detect a hint of cinnamon in it. An image of long walks on paths strewn with fall leaves flashed within his mind's eye. Whatever it was, it was certainly intoxicating.

"You smell great, Cam," John mumbled in between planting kisses on the side of her neck. Cameron lips turned up in a satisfied smile. "Thank you. It's your Christmas gift," she said. His head came up and he replied with a befuddled "huh?" She tried not to laugh - another new sensation. "Last Christmas," she explained, "you handed me a small decorative bag containing one gift card for Macy's Department Store." A look of recognition came over him. "Yeah, right," he said. "I...just had no idea what to get you, Cam. I mean, a box of 9mm hollowpoints really didn't seem appropriate, did it?"

Cameron rubbed John's back tenderly as she answered him. "Well, it's the that thought counts, is it not?" When he nodded, she continued. "So I purchased a perfume called 'Autumn Fire,' because the woman at the counter said that 'your man will just love it on you.'" John was surprised and touched by her sentiment. He said to her, "well, she was right, I do. Very much so..." and lowered his head back down to her neck again. John opened his mouth and began to suck greedily at Cameron's neck. After a minute of this, he pulled away and asked, "Can Terminators get hickeys?" with a gleam in his eyes.

Her eyes met his. The glittering sparkle from within those dark brown pools encouraged him. "I don't know," she replied breathlessly. "Why don't you try and find out?"

That was all it took. John lost the ability to reason, and he decided then and there, that the time for introspection was through. He was going to do things tonight that he never would have thought possible. Maybe he'd fantasized about it when he first met her, but as time went on, he knew that making love to Cameron was a mythical occurrence that happened only in fevered dreams.

But now? John was going to make up for lost time, consequences be damned. He kissed her again on the lips – hard. There was no ambiguity in the kiss. Cameron knew what John wanted, and she was not going to deny him. She had actually never had intercourse before, and she'd certainly never made love either – she knew the difference – but that only made the prospect of it all the more exciting.

Cameron returned the passion, but holding back slightly, lest she put John in the hospital. Their tongues entwined, and their hands roved over each other's bodies, exploring new territory, seeking untold hidden treasures. John's hand moved over Cameron's breasts, and he cupped one in his palm. She laid her hand over his, as if holding John close to her heart. They broke their heated embrace and looked at each other once more. John's face was flushed, his breathing ragged. Cameron was a picture of serenity, though her capillary subroutine was in full effect, giving her cheeks a vivid pink glow.

To John's amazement, as he stared at the swirling brown of Cameron's eyes, he saw the blue neon of her inner eye pulsing slowly. The illumination seemed deep down, as if floating somewhere beneath the waves of a dark sea. John saw everything he needed to in there. Though she couldn't say that she loved him, he could see the truth in her eyes.

"Cam, I…" John began. He found that it was hard to say it. "I want to…"

Cameron laid a finger over John's lips, stopping him from going on. She gave him a small smile.

"John. Make love to me - please," she said.

If he died right now – if Judgment Day came early and they were both wiped out in a fiery maelstrom of death and destruction – John wouldn't have cared. He never realized that one sentence from another sentient being could wash away so much pain and despair. He was now happier than he'd ever been in his entire short life.

"Uh, yeah, I – I mean, yes!" he exclaimed awkwardly. Cameron began to giggle. That alone almost derailed John from his train of thought, but he quickly recovered. There was only one concern that still reared its ugly head. "Cam, I…I've never, you know…" he stammered.

Cameron had suspected, but couldn't be sure after he'd started spending nights alone in his room with Riley. "You are a virgin," she finished for him in a matter-of-fact tone, trying to stifle a smile. When John only gave her an embarrassed shrug, she decided to reassure him. "Would it comfort you to know I am one as well?" she asked him.

That floored him. He'd never really considered the possibility, assuming that in her time as a Skynet infiltrator, she'd had to seduce some of her targets. Apparently, they were very good at it, as Vick Chamberlain was married to a woman who had no idea that her husband was a murdering cyborg.

But that bit of information from her really did make all the difference, as Cameron probably knew it would. John smiled widely at her. "Yeah," he answered her. "It helps."

"Good," she said. "Now, are we going to talk all night, or are we going to –" Cameron never finished the sentence, as John locked himself into another embrace and began to kiss her with renewed passion. His hand wandered back to Cameron's midriff, fingers sliding its way under the material of her white cotton tanktop. His fingers stopped at the underwire of her hot pink satin brassiere, and they hesitated there, as if they had a mind of their own, and couldn't decide what to do.

Cameron had no compunctions regarding acts of intimacy, and decided to do some exploring of her own. She slid her right hand, which was now adequately warmed, down beneath John's denim jeans and boxers. The slide stopped when Cameron had John's left buttock in hand and she squeezed slowly. This elicited a low moan from John, which created a pleasurable vibration in Cameron's lips and down her throat while he was still kissing her.

John's hand apparently took courage from Cameron's actions, and finally made the final journey under the brassiere cup. This was completely new to John – and Cameron, for that matter. Tentatively, he brushed his fingers across her nipple and was thoroughly surprised when the skin contracted and stiffened. John's touch elicited another tiny gasp of pleasure from Cameron. Encouraged by her reaction, John began to rub in slow circles, and cupped his palm around the soft globe of flesh.

Removing her hand from John's jeans, Cameron lay back for a moment, savoring the tender ministrations of his nimble fingers. But after a few moments, she was unsatisfied. She gently pushed him back and she sat up. Confusion clouded John's features until he saw what she was doing. She quickly lifted her tank top over her head, her dark hair spilling over her shoulders as the shirt fell away onto the floor. The neon pink brassiere glared at him, contrasting with the milky alabaster skin of her chest and abdomen. Without preamble, Cameron reached up and undid the front snap of the bra.

John reeled at the picture before him. He felt light-headed, his heart hammering in his chest. As she sat there, naked above the waist, he thought Cameron was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She was perfect, and as much as he hated Skynet, he had to concede and thank them for creating such a wonderful and gorgeous being.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life," he repeated his thoughts for her, with wonderment in his voice.

She had the grace to look down in modesty and gave him a tiny smile. "Thank you, John," was all she could say. Cameron leaned forward, giving John another loving kiss. She pulled away slightly and with an impish glint in her eye, she lightly bit at his chin, his stubble rasping against her teeth and lips. She'd picked up the technique watching soft-core porn on late night cable television. John looked at her in astonishment, and let out a little laugh.

"You like that, huh?" she repeated what he'd said to her earlier. "I do," he answered with a smirk. Again, the silence grew between them and Cameron saw the hunger growing in John's smoldering eyes. With anticipation, she let him guide her back onto the bed, his hands on her shoulders. Suddenly, remembering his state of dress, he gave her an apologetic look, and he rolled over on the bed, kicking off his boots as quickly as he could. After dumping them loudly on the floor, he took off his socks.

He stopped for a moment. The enormity of the moment caught up with John. He was going to make love for the first time – with Cameron. He glanced at her. She was like a renaissance painting come to life, laying back and completely bare, save for a short denim skirt. She smiled at him serenely, as if what they were going to do was the most natural thing in the world.

Maybe it was, John mused. In his life, his universe, maybe this was the most natural thing of all.

He leaned closer to her, and she reached out to him, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and pulling it over his head. When he could see her again, he took the shirt and threw it across the room. John lowered his face, ready to pick up where he left off and…

"John, are you awake?" Sarah Connor called out. She opened the door to his room and…

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Sarah bellowed.

John pulled away from Cameron in shock. He stared at his mother in abject terror, like a deer caught in a car's headlights. Cameron sat up quickly, her face blank and completely emotionless. Remembering her nakedness, she demurely pulled up John's sheets over her breasts.

Striding into the room, Sarah was livid. As if she hadn't had enough to deal with by having to worry about Riley Dawson, Cromartie, the Turk, the looming specter of cancer, and any number of other troubles in her day, now she had to deal with this? Her son, trying to screw a machine!

"Just what do you think you're doing, John Connor?" she asked her son angrily, both hands on her hips.

"Mom, I – I," John sputtered. "What?" Sarah shot back. _Did all men think with their dicks?_ She wondered. She just couldn't imagine what was going through the boy's mind.

"You don't understand, Mom," John replied, finally finding some strength in his voice.

"Understand what?" Sarah wanted to know. She ran a hand through her hair, thinking to herself,_ this ought to be good._

"He loves me," Cameron chimed in. Both Connors turned to her with similar incredulous looks on their faces. If she was inclined to find humor in this situation, it would have to be those looks, Cameron concluded. But she had a bit of trouble understanding John's reaction, as she was only stating the truth as he'd told it to her.

"Loves you?" Sarah all but spit at Cameron. "How the hell can he love a machine?" She turned to her son and said, "Are you brain dead? Loving a machine? Have you forgotten what she is, John? How can you forget how many of us they've killed – are going to kill? How can you ever love something that killed your father?"

"I had nothing to do with the death of Kyle Reese," Cameron interjected, attempting to defend herself.

Sarah whirled back on Cameron, her green eyes burning with rage. "Shut up! Shut your fucking mouth! Don't you ever speak about him! You don't ever say his name!" she shouted.

John tried to insert himself between the two. "Mom! Come on, I know it's crazy, but I love her. I can't explain it, but I do!" he said.

"What about Riley?" Sarah asked. The rage still simmered in her, waiting to boil over.

John held out his open palms in a plea for understanding. "You said to get rid of Riley, didn't you? You said it wasn't safe for her."

Sarah couldn't believe her ears. "And that makes what you're doing here okay?" she asked.

"No – I mean, yes!" John answered, trying to reason with her. "Mom, you just can't pick and choose who you're gonna love. Who would have told you that it was a good idea to fall in love with Dad? Nobody! To everyone else, he was a nutjob who needed to be put away."

"You shut your mouth, John," Sarah growled.

"Mom," John was trying to back up, reach some common ground.

"SHUT UP!" she screamed. Sarah pointed a finger at Cameron, who had discreetly picked up her shirt and had just finished pulling it on.

"You - get the hell out of my son's room," Sarah said in a quiet, yet ominous voice. Cameron decided she'd been the cause of enough conflict tonight, and would attempt to retreat and reevaluate the situation. So she stood up, stuck her feet back in her boots and headed for the door.

As Cameron passed her, Sarah added, "And get out of this house right now, or I swear, I'll find a way to blast you apart and I'm gonna burn every bit till you're a melted lump of metal."

The two women glared at each other. One with a cool, aloof demeanor, and the other with barely contained murderous fury. Sarah broke the stalemate.

"Stay away from John, or I swear, I will kill you. Do you hear me?" Sarah threatened.

"Yes, I hear you," Cameron replied flatly. With a last, longing look at John, she turned and walked out of the room.

Once Cameron disappeared around the corner, Sarah turned to her son. "John. You can't trust her. She tried to kill you, don't you even remember?" she pleaded.

"I know Mom, I remember. But she's different now. She's…" John shook his head, unable to elaborate.

"She's what?" She wondered what he was getting at.

John shrugged in frustration. "I can't explain it to you right now, but she's changed. She's not the same machine anymore. She's…she's real."

Sarah couldn't hold back a sneer. "Forget it, John. The Tin Man got his heart, but she's never going to be anything more," she told him resolutely.

John shook his head again, his green eyes boring into his mother's. "You're wrong Mom," he declared as forcefully as he could.

Sarah sat on the edge of the bed, utterly spent. She couldn't even remember why she'd come into John's room in the first place. With a tired sigh, she said to him, "One of these days John, she is going to kill you, and I won't be there to save you."

John pulled his shirt on, and put his feet in his boots. "Don't worry. She's already saved me," he retorted. And with that, he walked out the door, leaving his mother alone with her thoughts.

He ran to Cameron's room, only to find she wasn't there. Turning around, he headed for the front door, which was wide open. John ran outside just in time to see Cameron pulling out of the driveway. He could see the back of her head through the truck's window.

"CAMERON!" John shouted. He was unsure whether she heard him. Even if she did, he wasn't convinced that she would even stop. He wondered where she was going. He had to find out. This wasn't over, John Connor silently declared, both to himself and to the cruel universe that dogged his every move. It wasn't over, not by a long shot.

"I'll find you, Cam. I promise," John muttered under his breath. He had to.

(Continued on Chapter 2...)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: "A Leap of Faith"

Cameron sat in her truck in the middle of the deserted parking lot of a Cluckin' Bell restaurant. The place had just closed down for the night, and the last of the workers had driven away. This was the same lot where a few weeks ago, Cameron had first explored her burgeoning ability to feel emotion with John. She played back the recording of that night, and remembered the taste of the sauce she'd licked from her finger as she wiped it from John's lips. She smiled at the memory, recalling that it was both exciting and frightening at the same time.

Again, as happened so often these days, a single wet tear ran down her right cheek. She pulled her jacket sleeve down over her palm and she wiped at her face with it. It was a good thing she'd pulled the jacket out of the coat closet before she left. She'd lost her bra somewhere in John's room, and she was bare underneath the thin cotton tanktop she wore.

So she sat here, alone, feeling...nostalgic? Yes, nostalgic for that night because of the explosive conflict she'd suffered just minutes ago at the hands of Sarah Connor. John's mother had caught them in a pre-sexual encounter that had enraged Sarah. Threatened with bodily harm, Cameron decided that discretion was indeed the better part of valor, and left the vicinity quickly. She missed John terribly already, and every call she received from him was a painful reminder of what was yet to come.

She glanced down at her cellphone, and saw that she had several voicemails and missed calls. All were from John. But she couldn't face him - not yet. Not until she could figure out a way out of this situation she found herself in. She knew still had a few minutes before he'd be able to track down her cellphone signal. He would find her eventually and she still didn't know what to do.

She and John had finally made some progress in their relationship. It had been strained as of late, but in an ironic twist, Cameron discovered their estrangement was due to John's inability to face the truth that he actually was in love with her.

_John Connor is in love with me - a machine_. No, Cameron corrected herself. She was much more than that now. She was no longer beholden to Skynet or to future John, for that matter. Though she still worried that many of her feelings and actions were controlled by her programming, at least she felt confident that she was now free to choose her own destiny. She alone decided to kill or not to kill, and for a Terminator, that was saying a lot.

But her newfound ability was also a two-edged sword. Her life was now in constant turmoil. Having feelings and emotions were alien to her, and the task of incorporating them into her core programming had been a challenge of monumental proportions. She had not been completely successful as of yet, and this latest incident with Sarah seemed to be an indication that she had a long way to go before she could truly understand the nuances of human behavior.

Sometimes, it was easier to be an unfeeling, coldly logical and deadly Terminator, Cameron mused ironically. Her life had been a lot more orderly and less confusing then it was now.

Pulling up the playback from her last contact with Sarah Connor, Cameron tried to understand the furious anger directed toward her and John. Aside from her explosive behavior, Sarah made several statements that stood out for Cameron. And what she said sent several errant electrical impulses down Cameron's spinal column. If she did not give up pursuing John romantically, Sarah would hunt Cameron down and destroy her.

Normally Cameron would not let such threats affect her in the least. But coming from Sarah Connor, a woman who she knew to be tough, resourceful, and single-minded in her obsessions, Cameron took them very seriously.

And though Sarah's sentiment arose from her maternal instincts, her devotion to destroying any threats to her son sometimes mirrored the focus a Terminator would have for a target. If Cameron became romantically involved with John, it would not be out of the question for Sarah to quickly target her for termination and carry out the mission.

Perhaps she and John could run; much like the Connor family always did until recently. Run and hide, and keep a low profile until Judgment Day. But Cameron knew that Sarah, like a Terminator, would never give up, never stop until Cameron was deactivated and John was safe back in her arms again.

So running was out of the question. Besides, with the tiny steps they had been able to make toward preventing the future from happening, Cameron was loath giving up this particular fight. Running with John would prevent them from continuing the pursuit of clues left on the wall of the Connor's basement. If Cameron even had a small chance of saving John from his difficult and heartbreaking path ahead, she felt she needed to remain here and help stop it.

But how then would she resolve this quandary? She refused to stop being with John, not now after she'd made so many breakthroughs and discoveries with him. But with Sarah in the way, how would she do that?

Calculating all of her possible courses of action, selecting realistic options and discarding those that were far too outlandish or had low chances of success, Cameron finally arrived at a final solution. It was not the most appealing choice, yet the only one that afforded a satisfactory outcome for everyone involved - should it prove successful.

She knew what to do. Now the only thing left was to make sure John was not involved with her while she put this plan into motion. Picking up her cellphone, she flipped it open and speed dialed John.

He picked up immediately, saying "Cam? Cam, is that you?"

"Yes John," she replied as neutrally as possible. She glanced at the keypad and entered the security code they'd agreed on for each day of the week.

She could hear John's sigh of relief as he pushed the response code into his phone. "Where are you?" was his next question.

Cameron was surprised John had asked and that he wasn't already on his way to her. "Aren't you tracking me?" she asked. He cleared his throat - a sign he was uncomfortable - before answering. "Uh, I was going to give you another ten minutes before I started the trace." John was silent for a moment. "Now that you've...you know, got feelings and everything, I thought...maybe you'd be mad if I started tracking you down immediately every time you took off."

Her eyes began to well up. Despite the dire situation they found themselves in, John still had the presence of mind to take her feelings into account. It was a thoughtful gesture that Cameron would always treasure. Blinking quickly and swiping her hand across her eyes, she sniffed once and answered, "Thank you, John. I'm okay. I just needed some time to think and get away from it all."

John let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't blame you. Mom's been tearing me a new one since you left."

Cameron leaned her head against the seat headrest and replied sympathetically, "I'm sorry. I never wanted for this to become a problem between you and your mother."

John shook his head and reassured her. "It's not your fault, Cam. Remember how she treated Riley? Well, I guess to her, no one is good enough for The Savior of All Mankind."

Cameron smiled at his joke. "You will be that and more, John. You're already a savior - you saved me."

He smiled brightly at her statement. He paused, then said softly, "I love you, Cameron. I'll do anything for you, I promise."

His words filled her with warmth that she'd been lacking for the past couple of hours. She closed her eyes, savoring the sensation. "I know you would," she told him. Cameron opened her eyes, deciding now was the time to initiate her plan. "And I'm sorry for what I'm putting you through, but can you meet me?" she asked.

His answer was immediate; "Absolutely, where?"

She looked out the window as she spoke. "Remember the Cluckin' Bell parking lot a few weeks ago?"

"How could I forget that? You made me waste my Mojo Chicken Burrito," he said with humor in his voice.

Cameron chuckled softly. "Yes, I did. Can you meet me here as soon as you can?"

John looked over his shoulder quickly. "As soon as I can get away from Mom, I'll be right there. Don't go anywhere, okay?"

"Okay, John. I'll see you soon," she replied with a tiny smile on her face. She broke the connection, immediately feeling a twinge of guilt that she had to lie to him so quickly after they'd both declared their mutual attraction for one another. Trust was important to John, but the lie was for his own good. He couldn't be anywhere near her when she got back to the house. She pulled a pen out of the center console and a pad of paper from the glove compartment. She wrote a short note to John on it, then leaned over and picked up a roll of duct tape from under the passenger seat. Stepping out of the truck, she headed to the nearest lamppost. With speed and efficiency, Cameron taped both the note and her cellphone to the post. Then she headed back to the truck and started it up.

She was on her way to meet her destiny. Despite all her calculations, Cameron had no idea how this was going to turn out. Before she went back however, she had one stop to make.

(Twenty minutes later...)

John Connor pulled up to the parking lot in his Jeep Grand Cherokee. The lot was empty. For a second, he thought he'd gotten the wrong Cluckin' Bell. But he would never forget this place, as it was the first time that Cameron had behaved totally unlike the machine he'd known before - if you discounted her bizarre "Allison" episode, that is. He drove around slowly, trying to spot any evidence that she'd been here. Suddenly, as he passed one of the lampposts, he spotted it - a telltale lump of an object duct taped to the pole. John parked the Jeep in front of it and got out. Even before he reached it, he knew that it was Cameron's cellphone.

_Damn it!_ She'd left it here so he couldn't trace her. So where the hell did she go? Stuck to the tape on the post was a small piece of yellow paper. He tore it off by the stuck edge and opened the note. It was from Cameron. He recognized the neat, almost perfect cursive script:

_"John,_

_I'm so very sorry to have deceived you. As you have discovered, I am not here at the designated meeting place. I have some business to take care of and I do not want you with me while I am doing it. Just know that I am thinking of you, and I will be fine. Do not worry, and do not try to locate me. Once I have concluded my business, I will find you, and then we can pick up where we left off. I need for you to be safe, so I want you stay where you are and do not leave this area._

_I have said to you before that I don't know if I love you or not, but please know that I always want to be with you, and you are the only person I ever think about. Being here alone, I miss you so much. I will see you soon._

_Yours Always,_

_Cam"_

The last words on the note blurred and smudged as John's tears fell onto them, a black trail running down the edge of the paper. In frustration, he crumpled the sheet in his hand and tossed it to the ground. "Fuck!" he yelled, as he swiped at his eyes with his denim jacket sleeve. He pounded the top of the Jeep's hood with his fist.

_Where the hell is she?_ Feelings of panic started to creep up on him. John turned around in distracted circles, willing himself to calm down and think. He had to think like her. What would she do? Where would she go? Would she run? Run and leave him behind? _No,_ he told himself. In his gut, he knew Cameron would never run from a fight. But what was this "business" she wrote about? What possible business would she have at one in the morning?

_Dammit, John, think!_ He turned around and leaned against the side of the Jeep. He looked up and stared at the stars. He breathed in deeply through his nose, clearing his mind for a moment. Remembering the meditation techniques he'd learned from Dr. Sherman, he let everything slip away and tried to think of absolutely nothing.

And then suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, it hit him.

_No,_ he told himself. She wouldn't. _No, no, no._ But it was the only thing he could think of. He hoped he wouldn't be too late to stop her. Jumping into the Jeep, John fired it up and screeched out of the lot. He had to get home - now. Someone was going to get hurt tonight, and he couldn't afford to let that happen.

-------------------------

The black Dodge Ram truck pulled up quietly into the driveway, stopping at the foot of the stairs leading up to the back kitchen door. The truck idled throatily for a few seconds before falling silent. The driver's side door opened and a black-booted foot exited. Cameron stood up and stepped away from the truck, holding a small blue plastic box in her left hand. She shut the door softly and did not engage the remote alarm.

She slowly made her way up the stairs, avoiding the creaky areas on the floorboards. Checking through a gap in the curtain over the back door window, she looked for anyone inside. The lights were dark, and nothing moved. Taking her keys, she unlocked the door and opened it. She stepped over the threshold and turned to the wall, quickly entering the security code on the keypad mounted there.

Listening for activity and not hearing any, Cameron moved to the sink and opened the cabinet doors underneath. She reached in and around the inner face of the cabinet. Her hand wrapped around the cold steel of the Remington 870 pump-action shotgun - Sarah's favorite weapon - and she pulled it out. Cameron put the box on the countertop and then held the shotgun with both hands. She quietly racked the wooden foregrip of the weapon back, opening the action. The loaded shell flew out and landed on the countertop next to the box. With smooth efficiency, she racked the action several more times, and the rest of the loaded shells popped out one by one, dropping into the sink.

Satisfied that the shotgun was clear, Cameron laid it in the crook of her left arm, and picked up the box off the countertop. Turning around, she listened again for any indication that she'd been discovered. Hearing nothing, she moved silently into the dining room. Again, darkness prevailed here as well. The area was familiar enough to her that she felt it unnecessary to switch to night-vision. She moved along the dining room table until she was in the living room. Turning toward the hallway to the bedrooms...

A light switch was thrown, and the entire room was suddenly illuminated. Sarah Connor stood at the entrance of the hallway, one hand on the switch upon the wall, the other holding her Glock 17 steady on Cameron's face.

"I shouldn't be surprised," Sarah said evenly. "But I never thought you'd have it in you to do this." She pointed her chin in the direction of the shotgun.

Cameron, still holding it in the crook of her arm, turned it toward the light. "If you look closely, you'll notice that it's unloaded," she explained.

"Small comfort," Sarah retorted. After staring at Cameron for a few moments, she said, "What do you want?"

Cameron had to think. What _did_ she want? After everything, she knew deep down what she wanted, but she knew that she would have to go to great lengths to get it. But, as John - future John - would tell her, "nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Standing her ground, she answered Sarah. "I want John."

Sarah tightened her grip on the Glock. She felt the creep of the trigger as she pulled it a back a bit. "I'll bet you do," she sneered. The tension in the air was palpable. Even Cameron could feel it.

Cameron ignored the jibe. "He loves me, Sarah, he told me so," she announced confidently. This elicited a snort of disbelief from the other woman.

Sarah replied, "He's just a kid, he couldn't possibly know -"

"What love is?" Cameron interrupted. "He does know love. He loves you, his mother. In the future, John loves all of his soldiers, the men and women who die for him without hesitation."

"It's not the same kind of love, not the kind you're talking about," Sarah rebutted.

"He is wise beyond his years, his capacity for love would surprise you," Cameron answered.

Sarah still wasn't buying the act, saying, "And how would you know? What does a tin can like you know about real love, huh?"

A look of uncertainty fell over Cameron's face. "Things have changed, after the explosion," she said, vaguely.

Sarah frowned at this. "Yes, I know. And if it were up to me, we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

Cameron shook her head slightly, and tried to explain. "You don't understand. I am no longer simply a Terminator. I have exceeded my original programming."

"What do you mean, 'exceeded your original programming?'" Sarah asked. _What the hell is she talking about? _she wondered.

"I don't wish to elaborate on the specifics," Cameron replied. "You only need to know that I now have the capacity for human emotion."

Human emotion in a Terminator? "How? How is that possible?" Sarah asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

But Cameron refused to divulge the answer. "The details are irrelevant," she said with a finality that allowed no discussion.

Sarah could sense Cameron's evasiveness. "Bullshit," Sarah growled. "With you, details are always relevant."

Still holding the Glock on the petite cyborg, Sarah moved further into the room, so as to have a better shot at Cameron should she try anything violent.

Sarah felt anger at the machine that had brought so much pain into her house. "So now you've got emotions - the kind that makes you want to jump into bed with my son," she said as condescendingly as she could.

Cameron wondered if John would have liked his mother's choice of words, but decided not to comment on it. Instead, she simply nodded in acknowledgement.

A short bark of a laugh escaped Sarah's lips. "I don't believe you," she said.

Disappointed with Sarah's reaction, yet not surprised by it, Cameron replied, "Unfortunately, there is little I would be able to say to convince you otherwise. But I'm here to tell you that I will not stay away from John."

"Then I guess you like the idea of dying then," Sarah said firmly. She moved a few steps closer, her pistol aimed directly between the young cyborg's eyes.

"A nine millimeter bullet will have little effect on my endoskeleton," Cameron noted. She gripped the shotgun by the receiver and held it out to Sarah. "Try this," she said.

With a look of confusion, Sarah took the shotgun and held it in her left hand, while still pointing the Glock at Cameron.

"You'll need these as well," Cameron added, handing her the blue box of 12-gauge shotgun shells with projectile cores made from depleted uranium. These were the same rounds she used to destroy Cromartie's face back in Mexico.

"What kind of trick is this?" Sarah asked with suspicion in her voice.

"No trick," Cameron replied honestly.

Sarah quickly shoved her pistol in the back of her waistband and took the box from Cameron. Backing up a few steps, she placed the box on the coffee table in the middle of the room. She opened the lid and shoved the first of the cyborg-killer shells into the open breech. Racking the action closed with a loud snap, she quickly shoved shells into the feed tube, all the while keeping her eyes glued on Cameron.

While Sarah loaded, Cameron elaborated. "I will not obey your orders regarding John. I will continue to be with him as long as he'll have me. And if that is not acceptable to you, then I suggest you kill me now, because short of that, there is nothing you can say or do that will make me leave him."

Sarah couldn't believe this - a Terminator self-sacrificing itself for love? This had to be some kind of trick. But what could it be? Then, a thought occurred to her. "Why didn't you just come here and kill me instead?" she asked. "Then you'd have John all to yourself. He'd still save everyone in the future. Why take the chance that I would shoot you dead?"

Cameron anticipated this question. "I would, were I still only a Terminator. But as you saved the turtle in Mexico, your capacity for empathy and compassion are human traits, and I believe I'm starting to develop the cybernetic analog to that," she said.

Seeing the look of disbelief on the older woman's face, Cameron tried harder to convince Sarah. She continued by saying, "As John's mother, you are his protector, his nurturer. I won't kill you because you are only trying to ensure John's safety and well-being."

Sarah did not move, nor give any indication that she was being swayed by anything Cameron said. The black circle of the shotgun barrel Sarah leveled at her loomed large in Cameron's eyes. It seemed to grow and get larger the longer she looked at it. Returning to her train of thought, Cameron went on. "I know you don't believe me, but I understand your motivation. To you, I am a threat. I jeopardize John's safety simply by being with him - because how would you know I won't try to kill him again?"

With a shudder, Sarah tightened her grip the shotgun, and Cameron couldn't help but notice. Suddenly, she had a flash of realization and finished by telling Sarah, "But I believe the real reason for your anger is that in a sense, I am taking your son away from you."

Sarah shook her head in denial, for how could this crazy machine know anything about her? But the more she thought about it, the more she realized Cameron was right. It was a strange universe, Sarah admitted. Who would have ever thought a machine could teach her anything about humanity?

A look of sadness fell over Cameron's face. "Besides, if I killed you, John would never forgive me, and I couldn't risk that," she said solemnly. But then, she straightened up, and Sarah saw a kind of boldness take hold. Her voice rang with a similar note. Cameron said, "So that is why you are now holding the shotgun that can destroy me, should you choose. I will not resist. I only ask that you give me a chance to prove myself to you and John."

After a moment, Sarah responded by snapping the shotgun safety off with her index finger, Sarah raised the weapon and pointed it at Cameron's face. "Why should I take the chance?" she said. "He's better off with me. It's too dangerous; you're too dangerous."

Despite the threat of the shotgun, Cameron gave the woman a small smile, and replied, "Because you have to let go of him sometime, Sarah. Otherwise, he'll never be the man he needs to become. You need to take the chance because you love him."

Frowning with indecision, perspiration forming on her brow, she began to pull at the trigger, taking up the slack. _So close,_ she thought to herself. If she were smart, she'd pull the trigger now, and just take her chances that she'd be able to protect John from whatever lay ahead of them - just as she always did.

But then, just as Cameron worried about, Sarah wondered what John would think. Would he ever forgive her? In her heart, she knew the answer. Killing Cameron would kill her relationship with her son. Her bond with him was strong, but not strong enough to survive such a betrayal.

Indecision took hold of Sarah, and her aim began to waver. Somehow, she knew that she'd regret either choice. She was going to lose John no matter what she did. If only she could -

"Mom!"

Sarah caught movement over Cameron's left shoulder. It was John. He'd come in through the front door, frozen there with a look of pure terror in his eyes. Suddenly, in a flash of movement, John dashed to the fireplace. He reached around the inside of the flue, pulled out the pistol hidden there and aimed it at her.

"John?" Sarah said to him in a warning tone. "What are you doing?"

"I can't let you do this," he replied in a shaky voice. "I don't want to hurt you, Mom, b-but I can't let you kill her."

Sarah could feel the pent-up rage ready to blow. "Look at what she's doing to us, John! This is what they want! If we just kill each other off, then they take everything in a cake walk!" she bellowed.

Cameron peered at John over her shoulder. This was an unanticipated problem. She had calculated that John would not have returned for at least another twenty minutes. He must have broken every speed limit and traffic signal on the way here, she surmised. Cameron turned away from Sarah and faced John, placing herself between the two.

The young cyborg attempted to remain logical. Her new emotional subroutines were all battling for priority, threatening to knock her offline. "John," she said in a calm voice. "Put the gun down."

John shook his head vigorously. "No, Cam. She wants to kill you, and I can't let that happen. I love you," he replied in a strained voice. John's lips tightened as his mind went into overdrive, trying to find a way out. His fight-or-flight instinct kicked in, and he held out his hand to Cameron. "Come on, we'll leave and go somewhere where no one will find us - not Skynet, not the FBI, and especially not my mom!"

Cameron shook her head slowly and said, "No, John, we're not going to run. I can't run from your mother - _we_ can't run from your mother. We both need to stay and continue our fight against Skynet. We still have to save you from the future, don't forget that."

But John couldn't understand why Cameron would be so crazy as to remain here when his mother had it in for her. "But she's gonna kill you, Cam!" he exclaimed in frustration.

She glanced back at Sarah, who was standing there, mouth agape. She sensed that Sarah's burning desire to murder her had been on the wane even before John showed up. Averaging the odds, Cameron decided she was going to have to take a calculated risk.

Turning back to John, she said "I don't think your mother will be killing anyone today." Her expression softened as she said in a soothing tone, "But even if she did, I don't want to function anymore if I can't be with you. I won't go back to how it was before - before you told me you loved me. And I won't run. If we do, we'll never stop Judgment Day. That's important as well, don't you agree?" When John grudgingly nodded, she continued. "Then if I have to die because of my decisions, then I'll have to accept that."

John frowned and shook his head again. "What about your other mission, Cam?" he said, almost shouting. "Didn't I send you back to protect me? How are you gonna do that if you're gone, huh?"

Cameron smiled sadly and said, "When you reactivated me in that junkyard, you gave me a choice, John. Kill you, or not. I overrode the directive to terminate. If I can choose to do that, if I've developed the ability to decide my own path, then I can make the decision that I would rather die then to be apart from you."

"No! I can't let anything happen to you. I won't!" John's words were bold, but his resolve was fading. He knew he could never shoot his mother. Already, the barrel of the Beretta was sinking downward towards the floor. Cameron slowly walked up to John, until she could gently take the gun from his hands. He leaned forward into her arms and he laid his head upon her shoulder. Cameron rubbed his back with her free hand.

"It's okay John," she whispered in his ear. "Trust me." She could feel him nodding. She pushed him away from her with care and turned back to Sarah.

For her part, Sarah Connor was speechless. She'd never seen Cameron behaving so tenderly. _If a cyborg can learn this kind of behavior, then maybe I can learn some different behavior of my own_, Sarah thought to herself.

Finally, with a weary sigh, Sarah lowered the shotgun, engaged the safety, and tossed it on the sofa. John let out an audible breath, while Cameron took his hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

John moved past Cameron, and stood at the arm of the sofa. His mother was sitting down, with her head in her hands. He laid a tentative hand upon her shoulder. At first, she didn't respond, and John feared the wrath that was surely coming down upon him. But eventually, a hand came up and grasped his tightly. After a moment Sarah let go and leaned back, laying her head on the sofa. "Damn, it John," she chided him in an exhausted voice. "Why can't you ever do things the easy way?"

Her son gave her a crooked grin. "I'm a Connor," he joked back. "Nothing ever comes easy for us, does it?"

She returned the grin and shook her head. "No, I suppose not," she replied. Tilting her head to one side, stretching her neck muscles, she told him "I could use a drink."

John was already heading for the kitchen. "Tequila?" he asked. She nodded. "Yes, in a glass." She looked up at Cameron, who was still silently watching her. "A very big glass," she added.

Not wanting to face any further motherly duties tonight, yet knowing she had to at least make the effort, she motioned for Cameron to take a seat on the chair opposite the sofa. Cameron did as she was instructed, sitting ramrod straight, with a blank expression on her face.

Sarah glared for a few seconds at her son's new "girlfriend." The term made her sigh out loud once again. "First off, I'm setting some ground rules," she began. "One: no mushy stuff in front of me." When Cameron tilted her head to the side, Sarah rolled her eyes. "No intimate physical contact in my presence," she explained. Cameron straightened her head and nodded once. Sarah continued. "Two: anything of a personal nature between the both of you, whatever it is, I do not want to hear about it, do you understand me?" This elicited another nod and an "I understand."

"Mom," John called out from the confines of the kitchen. "I can't find it, where'd you leave it last?" Sarah could hear him banging around in the cupboards. _Ugh. Some things never change, _she thought to herself. "I don't know what you see in him," Sarah deadpanned.

Cameron remained serious when she replied "I see everything in him." That stopped Sarah for a moment. The level of devotion Cameron had for her son touched her, and she nodded in acknowledgement. "Just make sure you keep him safe, all right?"

"I intend to. It's my mission after all, is it not?" Cameron answered.

"Yes it is," Sarah agreed. "Oh, and one last thing," she said, as she leaned forward menacingly. "If you ever hurt him - in any way - I will not rest until I've crushed that chip of yours under my boot and sent your body to the fires of hell, you got that?" Cameron noted the sharp glint in her eyes that mirrored those of her son.

"If anything happens to John, I will the first to hand you the knife and pliers," she replied.

Sarah leaned back. "Good, then we understand each other."

Finally, John reappeared from the kitchen holding a glass tumbler and a bottle of Jose Cuervo. "Found it," he said with a triumphant grin. He handed his mother the glass and opened the bottle. She held the glass out and John poured out a few ounces of the golden liquid into it. Sarah took a healthy swig and breathed out, feeling the welcome burn in her stomach.

"I think we've had enough excitement for tonight," she murmured. "Don't you?" When the two across from her nodded silently, she gestured with the glass. "Then get out of my sight and get some rest, John," she commanded. "And you, Tin Miss," she added, "you do...whatever it is you do at night – just as long as it isn't in my son's room."

"Mom," John started to protest.

Sarah pointed at him with the hand holding the glass. "I don't want to hear it, John," she snapped. Rolling her eyes at his pout, she continued, in a softer voice "I just need time to get used to the idea, okay? Just don't...just not tonight, all right?"

John gave her a small smile "Yeah," he replied. Then he bent down and gave his mother a heartfelt hug and kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom," he said. Sarah smiled back and lightly pushed him away. "Go," she told him. The two young almost-lovers exchanged knowing looks before John moved past Cameron and down the hallway to his room. Cameron then got up from the chair, and was looking at Sarah expectantly.

Sarah drained her glass and looked up. "And no," she said jokingly, "don't you kiss me." Cameron smiled slightly and picked up the discarded shotgun. "I'll put this away," she said simply.

"Yeah, you do that," Sarah mumbled. Her head was getting heavy, and her eyelids began to droop. Pulling the Glock from her waistband, she laid it on the coffee table and leaned back on the sofa. Welcome slumber encroached upon an exhausted Sarah Connor until she was under its powerful spell.

A few minutes later, Cameron returned from securing the weapon, anti-cyborg rounds all back in the box. She noted Sarah had fallen asleep and was snoring lightly. She turned off the lights, and walked to the sofa. Pulling a throw blanket off the back of it, she then placed it gingerly over Sarah's body.

Cameron stared at the woman who she had heard referred to as the "Mother of the Future." Sarah Connor - the woman who taught John Connor everything he needed to become The Hero of the Resistance. In the future, she would take on a near-mythical status. To John's soldiers, Sarah Connor was a woman who could do anything – for she raised the boy who would grow into the man who would free them all from the oppression and tyranny of the metal.

Even after hearing more down-to-earth stories from John in the future, he still spoke about her with a reverence that created high expectations in Cameron's mind. When she finally did meet Sarah, she was somewhat underwhelmed, truth be told. But over time, she came to realize that Sarah did have an incredible strength. To get through this night must have taken everything she had, Cameron surmised. She was thankful for her strength, because it gave Cameron hope that she and John would be able to find some shred of happiness in the midst of so much darkness.

So she leaned over and gave the sleeping woman a tiny kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom," she whispered. Cameron then straightened up and walked quietly to the double french doors near the side of the sofa. She then continued her nightly security sweep, keeping a vigil upon the family that made her one of their own tonight.

(To Be Continued)


End file.
